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Just got off the phone with queueball ... it's been a few weeks… - The Desian Universe
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deskitty
deskitty
Des
Tue, Jan. 11th, 2005 01:34 am
Just got off the phone with queueball ... it's been a few weeks since we've had an honest-to-$DEITY Deep Conversation(tm). Tonight was good in that way. But I'm still feeling the need to Communicate, with a capital C ... hence another rambling post about nothing in particular.

I totally forgot, I should be taking my camera with me when I go out in the rain. I like pictures of wet things, or of water for some reason ... And here we've had what, 5 days straight of rain? ::smacks forehead::

Speaking of smacking foreheads, that reminds me ... I never did like the fact that the *...* operator is overloaded in net-speak (or whatever the hell you call the Internet-written dialect of English). So I've decided I'm switching to using the ::...:: operator for actions, and let *...* be solely for emphasis. It seems like the action form of *...* is deprecated nowadays anyway.

I'm pleased with the progress I've been making code-wise this quarter. I've been fumbling around a bit more than I'd like (yes, Virginia, you DO need to initialize your loop counters before you use them ...), but I'm getting things written reasonably quickly and they're standing up to tests. I'm ahead of schedule in 453, and I'm on schedule in 431 ... and I did another MetaFS release today.

Hmmm. I just noticed that spell-checking in LogJam is working again. How odd.

Anyway ... I think the reason I'm doing better organizationally and efficiency-wise is because I've been making more of a point of meditating lately. On any given day, meditation noticeably improves my mental state; I'm better-able to focus, I'm more awake (and less lethargic/apathetic), and I get more things done. I think I actually lose more time to being lethargic/apathetic than I do to just doing the meditation to get rid of that. Now, if only I could convince myself to do it every day ... ;P

It's not a panacea, though. It helps me focus more, certainly, but it hasn't been doing much in the way of improving my emotional state ... that's the sort of thing that takes consistent practice.

I just caught myself being insecure ... I caught myself going "hm, I'm this nice person, and I have these friends, where's my SO? where are all the people to fawn over every single LJ post I've ever made and post comments telling me how wonderful I am?" ...ok, so I was exaggerating a bit, but you get the idea. ;P That's still something I'm working with. Meditation isn't the "answer" to that, but if I practice consistently like I should, it will be a useful tool that helps me find the "answer".

Wow. Almost 2 AM (again). I'm off.

-- Des

Current Mood: mellow mellow
Current Music: Dirty Vegas - 7AM

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fairyspell
fairyspell
Fairyspell
Tue, Jan. 11th, 2005 02:23 pm (UTC)

Sounds like school is rockin along for ya and you are getting things acomplished. I meditated for a looooong time before I was able to focus that energy on to specific aspects of my life, and recently have begun chanting and I think the time spent 'in training' by meditating has helped the discipline for that tremendously. Not only is meditation a great way to center yourself it gives you a little bit of time each day that is set aside just for you. Your time. And the benefits of that cant be beat! I hope you keep it up and it gives you the same results it has for me! XOXOXO

PS-did ya ever read any fandom slash yet?


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deskitty
deskitty
Des
Tue, Jan. 11th, 2005 08:36 pm (UTC)

I haven't been consciously focusing my energy on improving school ... it's just sort of happened. Which is probably a good thing. But yes, I'm going to try to keep doing it. The only odd issue I've had is that some days it feels like it's forcing it ... and on those days, I don't do it because it seems like it might be counterproductive.

I've poked at slash a few times, and in some ways it scares me. ;P I find that I have difficulty wrapping my brain around slashy characters, because they're often somewhat different from the characters the original writers created. Ah, well ... perhaps that's just a sign that I have wonky expectations. ;P


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