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Straight People Who Care - The Desian Universe
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deskitty
deskitty
Des
Thu, Feb. 9th, 2006 01:14 am
Straight People Who Care

SLO people surprise me sometimes.

In my Philosophy class (which is 2 hours long), we usually have a 10-minute break. So on Monday during the break, I was standing outside with my professor and another girl from the class. We were just making small talk, and she (the girl, not the prof) was talking about how she's engaged, and what a weird process getting married is. But she also said that she and her fiance were considering not getting married, because same-sex couples can't marry.

That's pretty cool. I mean, I don't usually expect straight people to care that much. They're not the ones who can't get married, right? They need to do something to fix the problem, but really, it's our problem to begin with -- we own it, we're the ones whose rights are being infringed.

>>>

Next Tuesday (Valentine's Day, or Singles Awareness Day, if you're bitter and cynical like me ;P), the local GLBT groups are doing Same-Sex Handholding Day. Again, I wouldn't really expect heteros to care ... why should they participate in something that's about same-sex love? And yet ... emails have been making the rounds. My PHIL professor (who is married with kids) forwarded an email about it to all her classes.

Huh. It's just a f*king email... but seriously, it's a f*king email! How cool is that?

Most straight people look at me funny when I start to talk about civil rights, even if they are on "our side". Most straight people really don't care, nor would I expect them to. But a few do, and they have my undying gratitude.

>>>

This just goes to show... it's the little things, people. Things we do without realizing or thinking about it can make someone else's day. It took both of the aforementioned people less than 2 minutes to do these things. And thus, my hope for humanity remains alive.

Or something.

-- Des

Current Mood: grateful grateful

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spooned
spooned
always the volume always the words
Fri, Feb. 10th, 2006 12:13 am (UTC)

it really doesn't take much to restore your faith in people, does it? I myself require something a little more tangible, like books or cheeseburgers.


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deskitty
deskitty
Des
Fri, Feb. 10th, 2006 06:33 am (UTC)

No, no, I have no faith in humanity, I permanently lost that a looooooong time ago. :p

I do, however, hold on to hope ... hope that maybe eventually we won't be a bunch of miserable fuckups. ;)


ReplyThread Parent
stargazr417
stargazr417
Jesse
Sat, Feb. 11th, 2006 05:33 am (UTC)

Wow. You have no idea how incredibly touched I was to read that that girl had told you that she and her fiancé were considering not getting married because same-sex couples couldn't, either. Just reading that somebody had said that to you still moved me just by reading about it here. Maybe I felt so affected by it because it is definitely not something that happens every day.

I try not to think about the marriage issue much...and I suppose I get more upset over it than I should. A couple of days ago I was driving on the highway and I was stuck behind this big minivan, in the leftmost lane, going fifteen mph below the speed limit (of course) and on the back window was this huge sticker that said "MARRIAGE = A MAN + A WOMAN" and seeing that, I so completely lost it. I swung over into the right lane and passed the van, leaving it in the dust (or mud, actually, but still) and I caught a glimpse of the grumpy-looking middle-aged woman behind the wheel, glaring at me as if to say "What did I ever do to you?"

What I wanted to say was, what did I ever do to her? I just can't understand why heterosexual people get so worked up over something that isn't even about them. I don't go around saying they shouldn't marry, even though I feel that many of their own marriages are based on inequality...I don't know. It just makes me mad.

It seems so few of them are on "our side," as you said. All of my friends (the majority of which are heterosexual) are completely supportive of me, but even so, I get the feeling sometimes that they don't understand, will never completely understand what I'm feeling sometimes. They may say they're in support of same-sex marriage but when it comes down to it, they're only halfhearted about it. Why? Because they live in a world where they can marry pretty much whoever they please (yeah I know, that's not entirely true either, but that's a different discussion altogether). They can't fathom what it's like not to be able to get married, so I don't know as if they'll ever really know what they're missing. If that makes any sense.

Anyway, I'm getting off track. I completely agree with you: it is the little things, like the two that you mentioned, that make the biggest difference sometimes. I'm really glad you were able to experience those...that makes me happy, because we all need stuff like that every now and then!


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deskitty
deskitty
Des
Sun, Feb. 12th, 2006 07:46 am (UTC)

All of my friends (the majority of which are heterosexual) are completely supportive of me, but even so, I get the feeling sometimes that they don't understand, will never completely understand what I'm feeling sometimes.

Not being gay/bi, I don't think they can. There are just elements of that experience that aren't communicable to straight people, period.

Forgive the graphicness here, but it's sort of like how a guy will never be able to accurately convey to a girl what it's like to have a penis (or vice versa, with the appropriate organ). It's just something that's outside the realm of the other's experience.

They can't fathom what it's like not to be able to get married, so I don't know as if they'll ever really know what they're missing. If that makes any sense.

Yeup.

I confess, while I thought I was straight, I didn't see what the big deal was. I mean, of course gay people should be allowed to marry, but ... it just didn't seem like it was that big of a deal before.

Heh. There's a lesson in there somewhere to be learned from that experience...


ReplyThread Parent
happy_christian
happy_christian
Stephanie
Sun, Feb. 12th, 2006 05:10 pm (UTC)

Is it possible to be bitter and cynical on SAD if you're with a someone?


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deskitty
deskitty
Des
Sun, Feb. 12th, 2006 08:54 pm (UTC)

I think so.


ReplyThread Parent