This whole thing stinks to high heaven. Imprisoning people indefinitely flies in the face of the Rule of Law, not to mention Due Process rights in the Constitution.

Our Constitutional Scholar president should be aware of, and understand this. If he chooses to ignore it, that will send a strong and very negative message about him and his administration.

The guy is starting to look more and more like an eloquent, slimier version of Bush. Bush, at least, was reasonably honest about what he was doing -- Obama, not so much. Obama so far has failed at living up to his promises on LGBT rights, and it seems likely he will fail again on more general civil rights -- such as the right to a fair trial.

It seems like the latter is one of the few things all Americans, Republican or Democrat, should be able to agree on. It is extremely disappointing that Obama seems to be ignoring this.

[Edit: I've added a link to Americablog's breakdown of the brief the Justice Department in federal court defending the Defense of Marriage Act in the text above. Please read it before commenting.]

-- Des

In an effort to clear out my browser tabs, I'm going to throw some interesting Proposition 8 links out here -- some of these I've collected from Twitter, or from friends, or weblogs, but all of them are worth reading. I linked to a few of them in my post yesterday, but I feel they're worth repeating here. I'll update this list as I find more.

Pam's House Blend: The Master's Tools (part 1)
Pam's House Blend: The Master's Tools (part 2)
This is an excellent article, in two parts, discussing homophobia in the black community, how homophobia is intertwined with race, and how all of this affects gay marriage. He also discusses the impact of Christianity -- how black churches foster a strong sense of life-long community while forcing LGBTs to stay firmly in the closet. It's written by a black gay man, who is married to his white husband.

Stop8.org
"Stop8.org monitors the news for coverage about civil marriage equality in California. We also produce original video and editorial content, and advise organizations on conducting online outreach."

Huffington Post: Evan Wolfson: Today is Freedom to Marry day - Just Don't Say "Gay Marriage"!
An editorial on why we should talk about the "freedom to marry", and not "gay marriage". His position is that asking for "gay marriage" makes it sound as if we're asking for something different than what straights already have, and lends credence to the opposition's assertion that we're asking for "special rights".

Marriage Equality USA
"Marriage Equality USA, is an all-volunteer, national non-profit organization whose mission is to secure legally recognized civil marriage equality for all, at the federal and state level, without regard to gender identity or sexual orientation."

Facts (from Let California Ring)
"Here is a brief summary of events that granted – and then halted and put into question – the legal right to marry for gay and lesbian couples in California, as well as a recap of similar efforts around the country."

Daily Kos: Read page 36. They just cut Prop 8 to the bone.
Daily Kos takes a look at the Supreme Court decision, and discovers some rather surprising implications for gay civil rights in what the justices wrote.

Ted Olson goes to court on behalf of gay marriage
A brief news article on the federal lawsuit that was filed to overturn Proposition 8, and why it was filed.

Pam's House Blend: The complex questions about the marriage equality movement and the Olson/Boies federal lawsuit
This discusses the federal lawsuit, and why or why not such a lawsuit right now is a good idea. The strategy thus far has been to avoid filing a federal lawsuit until Obama has had a chance to replace some of the justices on the Supreme Court with less conservative individuals. This lawsuit throws a monkey wrench in that plan, and we have to take a second look at our strategy in light of it.

Positive Liberty: Jason Kuznicki: The Prop 8 Decision
A brief, if somewhat more scholarly treatment of the Prop 8 court decision, and how it is a direct result of California and Progressive politics and ideology.

Pam's House Blend: When Love's Not Enough
When a good friend comes to dinner, and makes well-meaning but hurtful comments about marriage equality, how does one respond? How do we communicate with good Christians who just don't understand why legal recognition is important for gay couples?

Huffington Post: Stinson Carter: When the People Are Wrong -- A Son's Defense of His Father's Gay Marriage
A short personal story of acceptance as a family.

libba_bray: There is nothing wrong with you
Some thoughts about growing up in the Deep South, with a gay father who was outed while in the Army. She also discusses and refutes some of the arguments against marriage equality.

rainhopperroo: Roo is hurt
Another personal story, in which his husband died due to medical error. Without a legally-recognized marriage, he did not have the standing necessary to challenge the doctor's clearly incorrect diagnosis and get his husband the medical care he required.

-- Des

Back in November, when Proposition 8 won the popular vote, I wrote down some of my thoughts and feelings in the form of a letter to the State of California. At the time, I remember feeling angry, depressed, frustrated, and disappointed... and I share some of those feelings to a greater or lesser degree, now. I'm tired of being a second-class citizen, of living under a government that proclaims, "Equal rights for all! (Except for the gays.)".

I went to the protest in San Francisco on Tuesday. I did so because all those personal reasons aside, I have a duty to every LGBT person alive.

I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that a friend had to remind me of this duty. My excuse is that I am tired -- tired of being angry and frustrated and depressed, and tired of speaking to people who just don't understand that the current system hurts people--sometimes very badly--and feeling as though I'm banging my head against a brick wall.

Listen to me--there is nothing wrong with [us]. [We] are not sick, and [we] are not wrong, and God does not hate [us]. -- Milk

So I went, to be present and to add myself to the count of those willing to stand up for civil rights. I went to hear and discuss what's planned for 2010 and beyond; to help get ready for the battles ahead. I didn't go to protest the Supreme Court ruling -- it is what it is, and objections to it, at this point, are useless. In some respects, I think the Supreme Court had to make the decision it did, but I'll talk about that in another post.

I hope, time permitting, I'll be able to take a more active role this time. I know the best thing I can do is to out myself: "to live as an example of an out, successful bisexual man." My story, and the stories of countless other LGBTs--many of whom have endured discrimination of a nature far worse than I--need to be told. Our work is not done until no fewer than every single one of Earth's children understands the violence and hatred that is embodied in the meaning of the word "faggot".

Compassion is the most powerful instrument of all. It will stamp out anger, fear, and even hatred. We must share our stories, and we must be willing to listen to those shared with us.

Everything else will follow.

-- Des

Dear California,

Shame on you for passing Prop 8.

Proposition 8 wasn't about protecting our children, or the sanctity of our churches. Churches have always been able to marry--or not--whomever they choose. Children aren't even taught about marriage in school. Neither of these things changed with the Supreme Court ruling, and they won't change now.

The only thing different is that now, several hundred thousand of your neighbors, friends, brothers and sisters have been stripped of their right to marry the one they love.

I'm disappointed. You are decent, kind, and compassionate. You were concerned for your children, and afraid that you would be forced to accept things in your church you're not ready to accept. You were afraid that that two of the most important things in your life--your faith and your children--were under attack. I understand that.

But quite simply: you were taken in. The extremist Right knowingly, willfully lied to you, put fear in your heart, and you believed them.

Honestly, I'm disappointed in myself, also. I'm disappointed I haven't done enough to show that we are upstanding, successful, moral citizens. I'm disappointed I wasn't able to demonstrate the love, compassion and commitment we all share for each other and our community. I'm saddened I haven't lived up to your expectations of me as a kind, decent person, one who deserves the same recognition and protection as you.

I'm hopeful, though. I know we can work through this. Despite our differences now, I'm confident that in another eight years, I can prove I am worthy of those rights, as you are. I'm proud to work in my chosen profession, proud to be a contributing member of our society, and still proud to call myself a Californian.

I take pride in living my life as a successful, moral, bisexual man.

I support the right of churches to marry--or not--whomever they choose. I believe children are inquisitive and intelligent, and can figure out marriage without the intervention of a schoolteacher. And I support the right of every adult couple, straight or otherwise, to have their deep and abiding love recognized and protected by the state.

I hope one day soon, we'll agree on that last one.

With Love,
Josh

Dear Gov. Schwarzenegger,

I am strongly in favor of the Supreme Court's decision on same-sex marriage. I believe it is past time for California to recognize ALL marriages, not just the ones with the "right" combination of body parts.

For most of us, the right combination is a man and a woman. But for some of us, the right combination is two men, or two women. We ask only for the freedom to decide that for ourselves.

I don't think anyone, gay or straight, wishes to challenge the sanctity of straight marriages. On the contrary, I think most of us recognize that marriage is a sacred institution; one which protects our spouses and our families. That's why it's so important for same-sex marriages to be recognized by the State. Children of gay and lesbian parents, and the parents themselves, deserve that protection.

I urge you to do everything you can to fight the anti-same-sex marriage initiative that will be on the ballot in November. Please don't allow hateful bigots to decide what is best for our families.

Thank you.

-- Des

Last Wednesday evening, like most such evenings, was Revenge of Pizza night. It usually happens at a small, family-owned pizzeria in Sunnyvale. The shopping center is old, but the restaurant is friendly and our usual waiter is amazingly, flamingly gay. It's a good place for fur gatherings -- we can be somewhat obnoxious and goofy, and the owners don't mind; sometimes they even join in.

Outside the restaurant, it's a different story. The shopping center is not well-lit, and when it closes, people of a somewhat ... questionable nature emerge from the shadows. I frequently see police patrols cruising through the parking lot, slowing down whenever they see a group of people, observing them closely. Before that night, I never understood why.

After Pizza, those of us that are left usually hang out in front of the pizzeria (which by this time has closed, along with most of the other shops nearby). We'll stand around, chat for a while, and generally be silly. Most of the time, this doesn't attract more than the occasional hostile stare.

Last Wednesday, it did.

There were maybe four or five of us in the group, and over the course of the evening, it dwindled down to myself and one other. We were standing in the parking lot in front of the pizzeria, and a group of maybe four or five people, of high-school or perhaps college age, came up behind us. We had our arms around each other's shoulders, as it was cold, and we didn't care if anyone saw us.

These people cared. They seemed to decide, for whatever reason, that our presence and behavior offended them. They began heckling us, demanding to know, "You got a cigarette?"

"Nope." I didn't turn around.

"You got a dollar?"
"Nope."
"You got a dollar?"
"No."
"You got a dollar?"

I paused, taking a deep breath. Show no fear.

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Slowly and deliberately, I took my hand off my friend's shoulder, slipped it into my pocket. I ran my thumb along the side of my phone, considering. Not just yet. I turned around and faced them, waiting.

"You got a dollar?"

I swept my gaze over the group, then focused on their leader. Stories of similar encounters flashed through my mind, most ending in homicide reports and murder trials. My chest quivered as I took a breath.

I spoke quietly, evenly. "No."

He stared at me. I returned his stare, projecting what I hoped was calm confidence.

After a moment, he and his group sidled off, back the way they had come. I exhaled, relaxing very slightly, taking measured, deep breaths. In the distance, shouts of "Faggot!" rang out, echoing across the parking lot as they retreated back into the darkness. I half-turned, watching them go.

I put my arm around my friend, my hand quaking, but not from the cold. As they passed into the neighboring lot, I smiled thinly and muttered, "Bye bye".

The immediate threat had passed. But it left me with a much bigger question.

How can we let this pass?

There were so many things I wanted to say to that kid, so many things I could've said. All of them may have gotten me injured, or worse.

But how can we, as self-respecting GLBT individuals, continue to allow this to happen? Why do we allow ourselves to be isolated, segregated, cast off as the "other"? Why do we allow society to define us solely in depraved, sexual terms, when the reality is so very different? What are we afraid of?

Thugs on street corners. Thugs in strip malls. Thugs in the White House. Our coworkers. Our parents. Even our friends.

Here's the thing, though -- if we don't face that fear, if we don't stand up to it, it's never going to get better.

Kids will still say "That's so gay". Bigots will still pick fights with faggots. The likes of Sally Kern will still spew their hate-filled bile. Our parents will keep hating us, driving some of us into the houses of friends, if we're lucky, or onto the street if we're not. We will keep hating ourselves. Some of us will even take our own lives. Unless we do something to change this, none of this will change.

So I will do the only thing I can do -- live as an example of an out, successful bisexual man.

That doesn't mean waving a rainbow flag and wearing my hot pink "OUT AND PROUD" T-shirt to work every day. It doesn't mean marching in pride parades, or engaging in raunchy public displays of affection with my (hypothetical) boyfriend.

It does mean this: I will do my best to show the world, through my actions and deeds, that we can be warm, caring, friendly people. I will show them we are good neighbors, trustworthy friends, and diligent coworkers. I will show them we are made of strong moral fiber, and we do the right thing when given the chance. I will show them we are just like them. And most importantly, I will do this without apologizing for or hiding the fact that I am bisexual.

I do this because if I don't, it's never going to get better.

I'm just one guy, lost in a sea of billions. Nobody knows me. I don't have lots of money, or prestige, or power. But I take pride in who I am, and I will do my part so we all may do the same.

-- Des

Every so often, I hear stories--or not even stories, just passing mentions--from kids who haven't gotten out of their parents' house yet. They talk about the hatred directed at them just because they're gay (and furry, but I don't lump furry in the same category as gay).

Often, these are people who get online (IRC, or AIM, or LJ, or whatever) because it's their only outlet. They are isolated, not allowed to have friends (or friends only under strict supervision), forced to depend on their homophobic parents for food and shelter because they can't or aren't permitted to provide for themselves, even if they're already of legal age to do so.

It frightens me how such diseased individuals can have kids. It frightens me how some parents can view their children not as individuals, but as extensions of themselves -- objects to own and control.

I'm not a parent, but even I know it's a fundamental mistake to punish your kid based on how upset you feel, rather than what they did. Yet there are parents kicking their kids out over something they can't even change.

If I ever get filthy rich, one of the first things I want to do is give these kids a welcoming, safe place to go.

-- Des

Most of the time, I agree with what the GLBT activist community has to say. But once in a great while, they come up with some complaint I consider totally absurd.

Autumn Sandeen over at Pam's House Blend complained about a segment of Glenn Beck's opinion show on CNN:

BECK: But anyway, Dave, what is the-what is the controversy? One of the guys called another guy a naughty name.

GLOVER: Yes. Basically you have Isaiah Washington, who's one of the stars of the show, who referred to one of his co-stars during a heated argument as a derogatory term for a gay man that starts with "F", rhymes with maggot. Did it a couple more times after that. And do you like how I did that?

BECK: Yes.

GLOVER: And?

BECK: Do you know that "The New York Times" wouldn't even print-I mean, we can say the word. We're having an adult conversation here. Wouldn't even print the word "faggot."

GLOVER: Right.

BECK: Wouldn't print it. I find that amazing.

She seems to argue that Beck was out of line in using the word "faggot" in that context. I don't think he was, and I honestly don't understand why the entire community is getting its panties in a bunch over a word. Sure, the word represents an offensive, disrespectful concept. But Beck wasn't even using the word to refer to that concept.

Anyway, I posted a comment in response, which I will reproduce here:

Are there more uses of the word you haven't posted here?

Frankly, I don't find his use of the term in the snippet you posted at all offensive. They were having a discussion on the meaning and usage of a word, not using the word to insult GLBT people.

Do I dislike it when people use the word in a derogatory sense? Absolutely -- it makes my skin crawl. But it's quite possible to be just as derogatory and offensive toward gay people without using that word at all. It's also possible to discuss the word "faggot"--as I am doing--without harboring any ill will whatsoever toward GLBT people. (I'd hope I don't harbor any; I am one. :p)

A word is a sound, or a collection of visual symbols. Nothing more. The meanings we assign to such things are entirely arbitrary. There is nothing inherently "bad" or "wrong" about words themselves, *no matter how evil the concept they represent may be*. Mr. Beck was discussing the word itself, not using it for the concept it represents.

Unless there is more to the transcript than you posted, I don't think you have any basis for claiming offense. If there IS more, I'd like to see it, so I can revise my comments appropriately.

Flame on. =P [But if you got to this post from somewhere not on my friends list, be aware that I do not tolerate abusive or disrespectful comments in my journal, whatever your position happens to be.]

-- Des