Des (deskitty) wrote,

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Life is Good, But...

I had a depressive episode last night. It's the first one I've had in a long time (not counting being up in the Bay for the holidays), which is good, but the fact that I had it at all was bad.

I don't even remember what it was about...other than thinking about how fscked-up life outside my little world is.

Before I continue musing about such things, I'd just like to point out that I got an average of 5-6 hours of sleep per night last week. I normally need about 7-8. So it's very likely that this was brought on by a lack of sleep and/or caffeine.

It seems, lately, like I've been building my own little world to live in where I'll be a happy person and go on about my normal business. I don't know how true that is or not. I hope it's not. I know we all build our own little worlds...but to some extent it's a bad thing, because sometimes we tend to lose touch with reality. We get so wrapped up in our own little environments that we've built for ourselves that we lose touch with the bigger picture...we lose touch with why we're here, and what we're doing. One of the reasons I'm so glad I have a group of close friends here is that it gives me a chance to get out and away from that little environment. It lets me see more than just what I want to see.

Although, it could be argued (quite truthfully) that I want to see this group of friends, so really, all I'm doing is extending my little environment to include these friends. I could go into more detail on this, but I won't, at least not right now.

That's why humans in general are so difficult to deal with...they like to build their own little workds, and ignore anything that doesn't fit within that world. It seems rather silly to me...I mean, what's the point of being alive if all you're doing is locking yourself up away from everything else?

I think I need to get out today. There will likely be more to come on this later.
Tags: self

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    Well, I'm off to Dreamwidth. I hope to see you all there! Nice knowing you, LJ. It's been grand. — Des

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