December 9th, 2003

Conbadge

(no subject)

My body doesn't like me. But I can't say I blame it, because I don't like it either.

There are a lot of things that I could talk about that would be TMI. So I won't talk about them. You really don't need to know, for example, that I apparently poked a hole in one of my gums and now it's bleeding. Blech.

I'm also hungry, but I really don't feel like eating. But that's not really body-related.

I think I'm losing that numbness in my soul. So hopefully the asshole me will manifest itself less and less. But who knows. $DEITY knows I've been an asshole about certain things lately. Maybe I'll be able to actually care a lot about other human beings again. In some ways, I hope so, and in some ways, I hope not.

The downside, of course, is that I'm feeling more now. I'm going to be expending more energy controlling my emotions and preventing my own brain from getting out of hand. So if I become (more of) a hermit, which is a distinct possibility in the coming days/weeks, at least you'll know why.

OK, I've wasted enough time. Must force something down my stomach (hmmm, maybe some Jamba Juice as well), then go to the beach and get more theater reading done.

The plus side to feeling more now is, I'll actually be able to gain a better understanding of what I read... rather helpful for the test. Take the bad with the good, I suppose.

-- Des

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