November 6th, 2005


(no subject)

Watching myself be sick is an odd experience. Regardless of what the ailment is (in this case, massively-irritated throat/nasal cavity), my perception always seems to narrow way down to this tiny slice of the world.

It's like flipping through a series of unrelated black-and-white, out-of-focus pictures in rapid succession. Now I'm sitting on the futon staring vacantly off into space. Oops, now I'm in the kitchen getting a glass of water. Oops, now I'm spraying saline solution up my nose, yet again.

It's like my mind can't deal with the discomfort, so it totally checks out and only pokes its head back in at regular intervals.

Long story short: I'm such a huge baby when I get sick. :p I'm not entirely happy with this, but I've discovered in recent years that it's a self-preservation instinct. If I drop everything and just take care of myself, it's over a lot faster and with less pain than if I ignore/try to work through it.

(Of course, it leads to my mother scolding me for "not having the intestinal fortitude to do what [I] need to do" (yes, I actually ask for her advice occasionally ;P), but that's a whole other entry.)

So. I'm trying not to be a whiny little bitch (which, trust me, is a very hard thing to not-do) ... but my priorities aren't so fucked-up that I'm going to put off taking care of myself in favor of school (or anything else).

Hopefully the worst is over. At this point, it's anyone's guess as to what's causing the latest ailment... it could be an allergic reaction to my nose spray (which I just started last week), or something more nasty, like everyone's favorite bacterium: Streptococcus! Wheeeee!

[Ohmygod, I can't believe "Streptococcus" is in the computer's spelling dictionary, but "anyone's" isn't. :p]

Guess I'll find out tomorrow when I go in to the health center (again).

-- Des
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