December 18th, 2005

Evil Dio

Odd-but-interesting dream fragment last night.

I dreamt that I was flying to Boston with a whole bunch of other Cal Poly people for some conference. Towards the end of the flight, I noticed a girl and guy about two rows back from me having sex.

They finished about when the plane landed. As we were all getting off the plane, she came up to me and asked kinda shyly if I wanted some. I politely declined (even though she was sexy and I wanted to), explaining that I don't do that with people I don't know very well. She seemed somewhat hurt, but left anyway. Then my mind moved on to something else.

Weird.

(I don't think I've ever had anyone I don't know very well ask me point-blank if I wanted to have sex with them.)

-- Des
  • Current Mood
    awake awake
Dio Stoned

(no subject)

mrrrr. Note to self: Never drink, not even a tiny bit, after performing strenuous physical activity. I had one hard lemonade, which usually doesn't even get me buzzed (just makes me feel somewhat more relaxed)... and now I have mild-but-annoying headache.

>>>

I'm one of the most undisciplined people I know. I always manage to get my shit done somehow, but I never do it when I don't feel like it, even when said task is mental-health-related.

I can usually muster up the willpower to do what I need to do (physical activity, meditation, cleaning, etc.) to keep myself functioning. But that happens sporadically, and all too often I find myself putting these things off for weeks at a time, when really, they should be done every day.

I was thinking about this in the car on the way back from explodinglemur's ... and I realized I don't have the first clue how to cultivate self-discipline.

How does one go about this sort of thing?

>>>

You'll probably look at me funny when I say this, but I came up with another word for the intimacy I seek. "Family". I'm not talking about the kind of family that involves kids (the biological kind, anyway), or the group of people who happen to have heredity similar to mine.

[Dammit, I just spilled water on my keyboard. Somehow I think I'm going to have to get a new one...]

Edit: Was flipping through fortune cookies, and ran across the following gem:

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings
infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can
grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it
possible for each to see each other whole against the sky.
		-- Rainer Rilke


>>>

Hehe ... I just realized my version of sudo insults you if you mistype your password. This amuses me greatly.

-- Des
  • Current Mood
    I have a headache