November 3rd, 2006



meh. Various bits of drama have been consuming my mind of late. Maybe I'll write it all up when it's done.

I've been feeling depressed this week, mostly at night, and I can only identify partial reasons for it. That bothers me. So I'm just trying to sit with it, and hope it makes some sort of sense eventually.

My meditation practice has gone to shit since I got back from Italy. I did a half-assed meditation this morning, and that's about it for the whole week. My sleeping schedule has also gone to shit, however, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.

Wondering about relationships and stuff, and where I am with them psychologically. Wondering if maybe I've now developed a pathological fear of commitment.

I'd like to start writing fiction more. I re-read Sunflower the other night [link is to the last part of the story, because that post has links to all the previous parts in it], and realized that yeah, it was a pretty decent story. Not great, but not bad either, and I could get better with practice.

Writing is good exercise for the brain, I think. It's good for me to get away from thinking about code periodically. (I sorta did that with Italy, but not really, because there wasn't too much in the way of intellectual stimulation while I was there, so I kept thinking about it anyway.)

Speaking of exercise, I need to start doing physical exercise again. My body's going to shit, I can tell. :p

-- Des
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