January 5th, 2007

Out of Place

Duct Tape

So my Costco-sized roll of grey duct tape is now officially Lost(tm). I've totally cleaned out the car (which is where it usually lives), and gone through a good chunk of my apartment.

At this point, I'm thinking I loaned it out to somebody or took it out of the car to do something with it, and it didn't get put back. So if you happen to see it, please let me know. In the meantime, I'll set about acquiring a new roll so I can fix my futon.


-- Des
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed


Sat quickly tonight, since it's already after 1AM and I need sleep.

I thought about sitting quickly, and how I had to "hurry" at my sitting. I started the count, but maintained it pretty much in the back of my head, not paying too much attention to it. Then I noticed how my thinking mind was telling me I wasn't going to sit tonight -- I didn't have time, had to get up in the morning, was too tired, etc. But there I was; when I went into the bedroom, I just sort of found myself sitting down. Then I went on to think about panth a bit, I think [I was over at his place visiting earlier tonight]. After that I noticed a rather sharp, localized pain to the left of my spinal column in my mid-back. I shifted positions slightly, and the pain went away, to be replaced by a generalized ache.

I went back to my breath, and thought about the advantages of organizing my meditation posts strictly chronologically, or by subject matter (e.g. a paragraph about the count throughout meditation, followed by a paragraph on my breath over the whole session, followed by my thoughts over the whole session). I worried that I was exerting a lot of mental energy in trying to remember the exact order of events so I could write this post later, and that memorizing like that was distracting to my meditation. [At the same time, though, I had a discussion with northing about this last night, and we both agreed it would be a more valuable exercise to write strictly chronologically.]

I focused on my breath for a bit, then thought about compilers, and propagating semantic information (such as types, constants, etc.) iteratively throughout a program as it's being compiled. I postulated that after a program has been optimized (i.e. simplified), it might be worthwhile to re-run semantic inferencers/checkers, because the optimizations might have exposed some more useful information that could be picked up. Then, of course, one has to make use of that information, so we want to pass back through the optimizer again, repeat as necessary.

Then I focused on my breath a bit more and brought the count back to the front of my mind. I realized my breath was a bit more ragged and hurried tonight. I became amused at the idea of "hurrying" meditation, and made the judgement, "it's right before bedtime; I should be doing things that are calm and relaxing, not hurried and stress-inducing. What's the point of sitting here if it's causing me more stress?". I thought to myself the point was, of course, to neutrally observe whatever sensations arose, including stress and the hurried feeling.

I went back to the breath. When I reached 10 on this count, though, I thought perhaps it was time to get up. But while I was thinking this thought, my body continued to breathe, so I continued to meditate. I did another set (1-10), and then stood up.

-- Des


Started off counting, but not consciously thinking about the counting. I gradually became consciously aware of it (I was spacing out before), and thus began. Spent some time thinking about falling asleep, but not actually doing so. This led to an internal debate about good/bad meditation, and the proposition that falling asleep whilst sitting was almost certainly "bad" meditation.

[I'm going to start cutting these, because they're getting a bit long, and I rather doubt many of you care about, say, the fact that I brushed my hand against my sweatpants as I pulled it out of position to rub my eye.]

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-- Des