Des (deskitty) wrote,

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Just got off the phone with queueball ... it's been a few weeks since we've had an honest-to-$DEITY Deep Conversation(tm). Tonight was good in that way. But I'm still feeling the need to Communicate, with a capital C ... hence another rambling post about nothing in particular.

I totally forgot, I should be taking my camera with me when I go out in the rain. I like pictures of wet things, or of water for some reason ... And here we've had what, 5 days straight of rain? ::smacks forehead::

Speaking of smacking foreheads, that reminds me ... I never did like the fact that the *...* operator is overloaded in net-speak (or whatever the hell you call the Internet-written dialect of English). So I've decided I'm switching to using the ::...:: operator for actions, and let *...* be solely for emphasis. It seems like the action form of *...* is deprecated nowadays anyway.

I'm pleased with the progress I've been making code-wise this quarter. I've been fumbling around a bit more than I'd like (yes, Virginia, you DO need to initialize your loop counters before you use them ...), but I'm getting things written reasonably quickly and they're standing up to tests. I'm ahead of schedule in 453, and I'm on schedule in 431 ... and I did another MetaFS release today.

Hmmm. I just noticed that spell-checking in LogJam is working again. How odd.

Anyway ... I think the reason I'm doing better organizationally and efficiency-wise is because I've been making more of a point of meditating lately. On any given day, meditation noticeably improves my mental state; I'm better-able to focus, I'm more awake (and less lethargic/apathetic), and I get more things done. I think I actually lose more time to being lethargic/apathetic than I do to just doing the meditation to get rid of that. Now, if only I could convince myself to do it every day ... ;P

It's not a panacea, though. It helps me focus more, certainly, but it hasn't been doing much in the way of improving my emotional state ... that's the sort of thing that takes consistent practice.

I just caught myself being insecure ... I caught myself going "hm, I'm this nice person, and I have these friends, where's my SO? where are all the people to fawn over every single LJ post I've ever made and post comments telling me how wonderful I am?" ...ok, so I was exaggerating a bit, but you get the idea. ;P That's still something I'm working with. Meditation isn't the "answer" to that, but if I practice consistently like I should, it will be a useful tool that helps me find the "answer".

Wow. Almost 2 AM (again). I'm off.

-- Des

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    Well, I'm off to Dreamwidth. I hope to see you all there! Nice knowing you, LJ. It's been grand. — Des

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