Des (deskitty) wrote,

Boredom, Disney Trips and the Meaning of Life

I had a rare chat with northing last night. Every time I talk to him, I'm reminded of why I value his friendship so much. He always asks me insightful questions that nobody else does.

This time, he asked me about my mission in life. I really don't have one. I gave the subject a lot of thought a while back, but couldn't find something that wasn't in some way arbitrary. So I settled on the appropriately-vague "make the world a happier/better place", and have contented myself with doing whatever seems right in any particular moment.

But as any regular reader of this journal knows, I'm ... bored a lot of the time. I go to work, I do a job that's fun but not fulfilling, and then most evenings I come home and sit around on IM until it's time to go to bed. Part of the reason for the latter is that work does take a lot of effort, and on most nights by the time I get home, I'm in no mood to do anything constructive.

I've contented myself with making trips to Disneyland, or trips to visit friends in various parts of the state. Those are enjoyable, and if I'm making trips almost every weekend in a given month, it's almost enough. :)

The other thing I complain about a lot in here, and on the phone with friends, is that I don't feel I have much of a social life locally. That has actually improved slightly in the past month or two -- I see yelang once every couple of weeks or so, and glaurungs_spawn almost every week when I go down to Sunnyvale. (I find it a bit depressing that my social life only seems to improve when I'm in the South bay, but that's another post.)

And that leads me to North's next question: Why is it that I feel such a strong need for companionship? Why do I want a regular, close group of friends to hang out with?

I have an easy answer to that one: it makes me happy. One thing I have always had a strong appreciation for is interpersonal relationships -- it gives me an indescribable amount of pleasure to spend time with a friend, one whom I know very well, and be able to appreciate all the little nuances, mannerisms, banter, etc. that is unique to the two of us alone. Every friend is different -- unique and special.

I have a strong appreciation for that uniqueness, an appreciation that only grows stronger the longer I've known someone.

I like seeing people happy. I like making them happy. When they laugh, and when I can laugh with them, I feel like it all means something.

-- Des
Tags: friendship, meaning of life, self

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