[This entry is in some ways a question...I welcome your thoughts in response to it.]

I've been obsessed with this song, and I don't know why.

Maybe it's because it reflects so well my feeling about humans lately...

I've got the understanding of a 4-year-old
I've got the peace of mind of a killer soul
I've got the rationale of a New York cop
I've got the patience of a chopping block

We see effects, but we rarely understand the causes. Effect leads to effect leads to effect, all in some seemingly-random manner that makes no sense to us mere mortals. Even in complex, deterministic systems which we think we understand completely, there is still completely unpredictable and unexpected behavior (see: software bugs).

The probability that we exist is infinitely small, yet here we are. Yet how do you define exist? There is no "root" -- no base piece of logic, or anything else that I know of, to tell us that we are "real", and that this is reality. If I'm not mistaken (feel free to correct me), Christians would argue that the root is God, and that if you have faith in Him, you have found truth.

But faith, to me, seems like a dirty word. How can I accept an entire system of thought based on a 2,000+ year old book, which is itself inconsistent in many places? That which was written, is not necessarily true.

Yet...there are many people that do. I do not understand these people. I don't mean they're bad people...many of the religious people I've met are good people. But I don't understand how so many people can cling to such faith.

I've got the acumen of a seasoned pro
I've got the lack of say of a billion souls
I've got the world on my back but I don't seem to care
I've got the comprehension of a world unaware

If I exist, and the probability of my existence is infinitely small, it then follows that everything (and I do mean everything, both imaginable and unimaginable) exists. Is a dream any less real because it is a dream? I'm not sure that it is.

As a matter of personal taste, I rather like the theory that says there are infinite universes, and at each "decision branch", the universe splits on a quantum level into multiple universes; one for each possible branch. I also seem to persist in thinking there is some underlying order to it all. Perhaps it is as simple as the supposition, "everything exists". Perhaps there is something more complicated.

But I doubt it.

Can't you trip, can't you think, can't you feel like I do
Can't you walk, can't you breathe, can't you trip like I do...like me...

-- Des

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