Des (deskitty) wrote,

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When Waiting is Filled.

I haven't posted much recently. I'm not sure why I feel I need to do so now (I need to get up at 8 tomorrow), but I do.

The past week or so has been mostly uneventful. Busy, but uneventful. Most of my time has been spent either working or doing some school-related activity, so I haven't had all that much free time to post. Work is...boring, and not really living up to my expectations (both in terms of the amount of work, and what I'm doing), but it's a least a job, that pays money, which is still better than nothing. Summer quarter is rather unusual, so if things still aren't OK during the normal school year, I might look for another job.

I know I haven't been very communicative with friends lately...partially because of the workload, but also because I just haven't felt the need for human contact lately. I get a fair amount on campus, which I'm not particularly thrilled about, and that has been more than enough. Mostly what I've been wanting lately has been quiet time to myself, to either play with my babies (alnath, deneb and now polaris), or get stuff done around the apartment. But of course, neither of those are happening right now.

I promised kion we'd go out to dinner sometime this week, but that hasn't happened either. :(

So, polaris....polaris is an old P2 I had in high school. My dad has decided he wants deneb (in exchange for money towards alnath), and so he gave me polaris as a replacement server machine. I decided I was getting a bit tired of Gentoo on the server (something about having to mess with Mailman every couple of weeks just pissed me off), so I'm going to give FreeBSD a spin. I have yet to see if I can get everything I need working (that's my current project), but so far things are looking good. I'm still going to stick with Gentoo on my laptop, however, because it's better-suited as a client operating system than is FreeBSD.

* * *

I have a headache...actually it's mainly my eyes (probably from staring at polaris' monitor for too long), but it annoys me. I hope the Ibuprofen works, and I don't have to take anything stronger. Excedrin has caffeine in it. [Whoa! Aspell recognizes "Excedrin" as a real word. Scary.]

* * *

As those who have read some of my friends-only posts will know, I've been wrestling lately with my purpose in life. For now, though, I have a sense of calm. My purpose is to wait, as long as necessary, and when Waiting is filled, I will know what I need to do.

I must have patience, as always. Now, perhaps, more than ever.

Especially with that guy who nearly changed lanes right into my front bumper (without signalling) going up the Grade on the way home. Idiots are stupid, and they refuse to learn, but they are still human.

I am engaged in all these projects (work, summer school/CRASH, the LUG cluster, polaris), yet through them all, there is still a sense of calm, of waiting for something to come. It's rather ironic, yet perfectly logical and sensible.

-- Des

 01:41:28 up 71 days, 19:15,  0 users,  load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00

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    Well, I'm off to Dreamwidth. I hope to see you all there! Nice knowing you, LJ. It's been grand. — Des

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