So, there was Denny's and beach on Monday night and Tuesday afternoon, respectively. I overtaxed myself Tuesday, had the allergies kick in Tuesday night, (stupidly) didn't take anything for them, and ended up having to stay home all day Wednesday recuperating.
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My antisocialness has also extended to my desire to find a significant other... I don't know what's going on with me, but lately I just haven't been able to envision what it would be like. What *would* it be like to have an SO? I've forgotten--either that, or I never really knew. So I don't really have anything to look forward to, and thus no reason to look. I think the only reason I keep hoping is out of habit; really. There's no reason for me to hope; it's not really something I want right now.
I suppose that's OK, but at the same time, it's frustrating (like everything else). It's frustrating because I want another chance to do it right, and I want some good memories and feelings to layer on top of the nastiness that was Liz. My last "relationship" memory was a bad one, and in order to put that one behind me, I need something better to look at instead.
But I can't even envision what something "better" would look like. So even if something better walked up and smacked me in the face, I probably wouldn't know enough to take it.
Yay for emotional apathy.
-- Des
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